docs(memory): note umode self-settable set and is_oper are single-sourced
Update the user-mode-wiring checklist: the self-settable char arm and
umode_diff echo table are no longer two hardcoded letter lists but derive
from UserMode::is_self_settable / is_client_settable, and the operator
check is now mode::is_oper. Reflects the wave-2 review cleanups so future
umode work targets the predicates instead of re-pairing allowlists.
Assisted-by: Claude Fable 5 via Claude Code
Signed-off-by: Xe Iaso <me@xeiaso.net>